So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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