Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
