Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
