He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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