is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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