Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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