So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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