I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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