That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
