i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
