i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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