His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize