i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
