ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize