She just used a chaser for red wine.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
