You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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