I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
