At least make sure they are 18
Why
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
