I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
