she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
