i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
