i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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