Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
