I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
