He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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