I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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