I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
