What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
