the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
