So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
