i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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