I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
