That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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