Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize