she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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