Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How does one acquire holy water?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
