I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
