You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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