I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize