There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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