my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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