I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize