apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
