dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
