"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
