Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
