Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
