I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
