I bet he comes in French.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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