you mean i was at the winter classic?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize