He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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