she woke up with a sticky ear
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
