I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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