i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
