but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
