Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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