If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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