Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
