Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize