He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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