Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
