He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
