What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i drank out of a bidet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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