I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she peed on how many people?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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