Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
