My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
