weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
