i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
