Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
