Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
