a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize