Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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