There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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