I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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