Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
