Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
