I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
