brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
