Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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