I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
