is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
